By James Komolafe
100 “Behavioral Carry Overs” (BCOs) nature would not tolerate from her natives in the wake of the New Year
2021 is a fundamental year demanding a formidable affront from all.
The world at large has been shaken by the realities of 2020 which has left a trail of outcomes and impacts that cannot be forgotten in a hurry; it has been one year too many in terms of daily transmissions in the good, the bad and the ugly.
Personal, family and organizational equilibrium have been shifted; many calamities and mayhems, deaths across board due to the pandemic , kidnapping, insurgency and insecurity…just to mention but a few have caused pain, grief and untold hardship on people. Many are still counting their loses and wonder how they would cope in the coming years
Emotional luggage and baggage… What are they?
Emotional realities are the lubricants of daily living as people experience the good, the bad and the ugly. As incidences unfold and things happen; human feelings, thoughts, imaginations and actions have been at the center of it all. Injuries and damages occur in the mind affecting coordination and balance. In recent times, fear and panic, unrest and trauma have become a common day characteristic for many. Apprehension, intimidation and all kinds of daily encounters have supported in dampening the mind and emotion of individuals in our days.
These kind of unfortunate experiences have a way of constituting weight upon people, making them to tilt away from their original lives. These scenarios have a way of inflicting pains on the mind and distorting the cohesion of their inward reality as they attempt to cope with the exigencies of daily living.
How does emotional luggage occur?
Many people today lack the capacity to separate between what happens around them from what happens in them. That inability to “speak up and out” at certain critical times have made many to wallow in mental and emotional squalor. Episodes of failure, rigors and pain not adequately expressed and dispensed have a way of constituting an inner weight via worry, anxiety and the injury wrecking havocs in lives and relationships. Not too many know what to do in the face of stiff neglect, opposition and negative unfortunate circumstances.
Coping mechanisms differ from one person to another. Many people unwittingly go ahead to accommodate the unwarranted episodes in the mind bearing untold hardship on their emissions. These experiences come in various shapes and sizes and subject the victim to certain mold of captivity and bondages. Many carry the luggage unknowingly and have a way of transmitting the impulse on people around them. Emotional luggages exist in the mind, deflecting the emotions balance of the individual. When they are not properly handled they continue to inflict pain and paint a glooming picture of the coming days and years.
100 emotional luggages that must not be carried over into 2021
Do you notice any of these luggages holding sway in your life up till now? In the wake of the New Year, you must never allow any of them to weigh you down. Look through the 100 issues listed and reflect on which of the following having a grip on your emotional balance. You cannot afford to accommodate ANY of the 100 below. Put a request through for immediate intervention should you notice a difficulty with any one. One is big enough to create a distortion and constitute a luggage for you in the course of the New Year. Note down the numbers for which you are having issues and reach forth for solutions..james1kom@yahoo.com or +2348035999220. They include the following;
1. Frightening experiences of the pandemic and the consistent feeling of losses incurred.
2. Mood disorder due to certain unfortunate circumstances in the course of the year.
3. Thoughts and feelings of pain, injury and emotional trauma caused by either a loved one or acquaintance.
4. Bites of trauma pinching one mind from time to time as a result of serious episodes never expected in the course of the year.
5. Abuse and feeling of ignore, unwarranted separation and deprivation suffered largely due to inadequacy and unfulfilled promises.
6. Outright dastard behavior that brought one’s self esteem and personal confidence into a questionable mode.
7. A sense of failure and self-hate; feeling of failure as an individual and not an event.
8. Sense of personal guilt and self-condemnation based on observable errors in the past.
9. Inability to deliver upon ones New Year resolution due to unforeseen circumstances.
10. Inability to recover and bounce back properly from a certain grief or painful moments.
11. An inflicting scenario caused by a loved one proving very difficult to forego and forgive.
12. Experience of an adversity making one to feel defected and bad, each time you remember it.
13. Panic attacks based on the remembrance of experience that happened in the course of the outgoing year.
14. Incidence of financial embarrassment weighing down one’s mind and distorting balance and coordination.
15. Encounters and experiences that constantly render one handicapped even in the midst of opportunities.
16. Inability to forgive oneself over a particular misdeed bearing its trail of consequences.
17. Job dissatisfaction and indignity that have subjected one to consistent feeling of abuses and injustice
18. Certain triggers constituting an on-going impediment threatening wellness and soundness.
19. Pent up anger and other habits that creep into one before it is been realized.
20. Pressure from every angle that took away s major bullet of pleasure and profits.
21. A cyclical order in several personal sabotage you just cannot ignore without periodic sense of hurt.
22. A negative perception leaving you empty and void each time the remembrance strikes your mind.
23. A specialized form of loneliness, inadequacy and self-condemnation over an error you should have avoided and mistakes you should have prevented.
24. Attitude of gross impulsion; where certain hurts remain within you and you are partially trying to cope with it over time.
25. Certain hibernating feelings and thoughts holding you to ransom making your mind to wonder and your emotions going on rampage.
26. Fear of negative repetition of an episode leaving you weak and incapable.
27. Constant feeling of dizziness and weakness even without much activity.
28. Failure of medical intervention being not able to fix a particular recurring challenge; leave you in certain hurts or feelings of being haunted.
29. Inability to post a resistance to negative thoughts and inclinations at certain critical times or moment.
30. Inadequate sleep pattern leaving you uncoordinated and weak, disturbed and afraid.
31. Sleeping less than 6-7 hours per day and does not feel anything negative.
32. Sleeping in piecemeal; often distorted sleep protocol that is irregular.
33. Waking from bed early morning and feeling restless and tired already
34. Getting lost in thoughts and feelings at times while your imagination operates on indecent lifestyle.
35. Constant feeling of personal energy overdraft issues, not feeling rested in bed.
36. Frequent irregular rise in blood pressure despite the use of drugs and other aids.
37. You run certain reality checks without seams, not sparing anything, yet no case appeal, despite your inadequate state of health.
38. A disturbing adversity is the course of the year weighing so much of your mind, seizing some moments of happiness.
39. Financial loopholes and drains created by certain circumstances creating some vacuums you never prepared for.
40. The lack of job patronage or sales that have created a generally low mood and the fear of the future in the face of the pandemic.
41. A mistaken identity of a relationship impacting heavily in your mind, which has caused certain unforgettable damages.
42. A case of homelessness created by sudden debacle or a collapse of an on-going system proving difficult for you to manage.
43. A parental void or vacuum bearing so much weight on you, for which you felt could have been better managed.
44. A medical condition defying seeming solution and distorting your personal equilibrium and attention.
45. A feeling of inadequacy, imperfections and fault finding on self at major certain points of rising.
46. A constant thought or feeling that is just refusing to go away despite certain interventions and procedure.
47. The age long victory of the past years being the only major testimonials….grappling with rigorous battle for survival
48. The attitude of hearing yourself in the face of someone speaking with you
49. The art of making a judgment over unconfirmed issues about another
50. Erratic mindset delivering unstable decisions for which afterwards you feel pained in reversal
51. Inability to forgive yourself or another over a misdeed you consider inappropriate and bad;
52. Regrets that have refused to go from your mind; as you frequently “reasoned” it could have been made better
53. Flashbacks and nightmares over a recent or past experience that leaves you in a panic attack or frequent disorder
54. Many issues burdening your mind is muting your voice, speaking up and out at the relevant quarters is most difficult
55. On many occasions, your message always comes out the wrong methods, people measure your expressions lightly and take you for granted.
56. Your best intention has always been faulted and indicated; it is so easy for people to pick holes in your submission and disposition.
57. Your sense of motivation is injured and damaged by the one you most loved and revered. you are left aloof and alone to pick the pieces in 2021
58. There is a wide gap of disparity within your inward messages and outward manifestations. This is becoming known to people close to you.
59. You don’t have a challenge opening up to people; but it has always been used against you often. you don’t even know who to trust anymore.
60. Most people you aided and helped today are the very ones opposing you. you certainly do not know where you offended them.
61. You are often kept in the web of postponing issues and matters. most times the right and the ripe times never surfaced.
62. The relationship for you is next to bondage. you discover your freedom and sense of individuality is fast eroding. you are stuck not knowing what to do.
63. you were motivated to go and develop yourself in that critical experience; only to finish and were told it is no more required.
64. You thought you were in charge until another person was imposed on you with flimsy excuses or nothing.
65. You felt used and dumped; now you have an opportunity to take a pound of flesh (revenge) what should you do?
66. An unforgettable scenario in the cause of recent times causing you pain and grief. All efforts from your end are proving unsuccessful.
67. You feel like taking the plunge because many issues seem to be outside of your control. It appears your strength is failing you.
68. People around you appear not to be comprehending your situation, rather you are being blamed.
69. You just would not feel the love shown and showered at you but your loved ones. Emphasis around that now is just not adding up.
70. All attempt to encourage you in your circumstance is just not reaching there. Somehow there is a vacuum within you that can’t just explain.
71. All your previous effort to hit at it has always met with a brick wall. You are just tired not knowing what to do
72. People who knew your predicament took advantage of you. You are left now between the devil and the deep blue sea.
73. Men hacked into your “stupidity” perfectly and deeply and took hold of vital information you gave them against you.
74. You feel certain emptiness so heavily and nursing a thought of inadequacy for 2021.
75. All the quick fixes for you and around you are not working out; you feel unworthy and incapable of continuity.
76. The habit you call simple, had a better part of you and cannot go away. It has become an addiction you cannot do without.
77. You felt you have experienced so much emotional pain and mental torture; talking to anyone now is a sheer waste of time.
78. Haa! Speaking out now will cause more damage; further harm than good; I would rather be quiet and grapple with this alone.
79. You are silently and secretly wishing that the affection for you be transferred to another or someone’s affecting towards you should be overturned.
80. What people say and encourage you are all great but certainly not touching the depth of your heart.
81. How can I ever open my mouth to report this? to who; in the first instance. i would rather live with it for the rest of my life.
82. This is the 3rd week running, the experience appears fresh in my mind each passing day. what should I do now?
83. I don’t know whether I am sad or depressed. I am not just myself.
84. How can I perform personal checks on myself, habits and lifestyle?
85. Strange thoughts and imaginations run through my mind daily. I do not understand what’s going on.
86. The fear of the unknown grabs me every day. I feel insecure despite the array of relationship around me.
87. My genuine intention is often misjudged and misunderstood; I have learnt over time to just be on my own.
88. Despite prayers and confessions as I was taught; it has been a hard task overlooking the error. I find it difficult to believe that what I read about could happen in my case
89. I just do whatever that comes to my mind now. several thought out plans have not helped either.
90. My challenge now is not even the means; money is the least of my worries.
91. As long as my silence breeds peace I am ready to continue this way
92. I think I have crossed the red line. I am done and can’t go back.
93. I attempted the method before, it failed. I rather remain this way until help comes my way.
94. I am hopeful for better days 2021; forgetting about the incidence is an impossible task.
95. I am enjoying the good side of depression. My quietness serves all the better
96. I have a coping mechanism when the worst happens. I drug myself to sleep.
97. I have found a respite from self and it is working for me. No qualms.
98. I am excited I can fix things only about me in the least; I don’t even mind should things continue this way.
99. Bad habits, dangerous lifestyle is not a challenge for me now, I must hit my target first, then for wellness issues, when II get to the bridge, I will cross it.
100. New Year, new realities and encounters; my major concern is the fear of Covid-19? The waves are biting hard with many more getting infected, what then is my hope?
FINAL CLAUSE
The entire case scenarios above have cut out behavioral intervention keys. The solutions have been customized to meet individual’s peculiar situation. Never travel that road again in 2021. Seek for SABA Resources’ supports now. Despite the second wave of Covid-19, the atmosphere is friendly always supporting you to succeed. Never cringe in to fear and unrest. You have more to live for in your inside than the forces rising against you in 2021. Welcome to your year for Positive Atmosphere. You can place a request for your FREE tool kits to operate effectively and efficiently in 2021. Nature is for you and not against you. Keep to Covid-19 protocols and leave in confidence. You have nothing to fear or loose. Africa shall be great and Nigeria has a great future. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!
James Komolafe is a certified therapist, Consultant Behaviorist at The School of Articulation and Behavioral Alignment Resources (SABA Resources) Fatima Plaza, by First Bank, Wuse Zone 2 Abuja, Nigeria. As Doctor of Behavioral Health, he runs behavioral intervention programmes and a mobile strategy across platforms. Reaching him is just a call away…08035999220 or james1kom@gmail.com
