By Odoh Diego Okenyodo
We are all suffering from Entitlement Syndrome, but we will never agree that we are. I tend to agree with President Muhammadu Buhari when he said what was interpreted as Nigerian youths being lazy, even though that was not exactly how he said it. Even seeing this opening statement from me has probably upset you. You may be wondering why I am bringing this up nearly five years after the man said it.
But what exactly did PMB say? “More than 60 per cent of the population is below 30, a lot of them haven’t been to school and they are claiming that Nigeria is an oil producing country, therefore, they should sit and do nothing, and get housing, healthcare, education free.” As much as I wonder why the President appears to be gloating over his failure as a leader to provide education and basic housing, the fact is that if you don’t have an education, why should you expect to have a job? And if you know those who are responsible for pilfering the resources meant for education, and you are not organising yourself to hold them to account, why should you be expected to have an education? This is why I agree we are all entitled.
In some ways, we believe that having just one thing entitles us to another great thing. That is a fallacy. People, for example, believe that if they are in love, they should have a good relationship by default, not realizing that a good relationship is something you work at, with love most likely being one of the foundations of that good relationship. You need to have good communication. You need to have a good understanding of the other person. You need to be able to let hurtful things go. You need to be able to set objectives together and attempt to work at them; you need to have a good charter for your relationship. Thus, just having love is not a good enough ingredient for a thriving relationship. If you think because you are in love you deserve a good relationship without anything more, you are entitled. Period! Try dating a Gen Z without a job and see where that would land you, whether you are a man or a woman. These guys no send love o.
Another glaring evidence of entitlement rears its head in having just a degree, a certificate. They have no skills or competencies relevant to the area in which they have a certificate, but they want the best-paying job in that space. They have never volunteered or interned so that they could gather experience, skills, and network. We know that marketing yourself by packaging yourself for a work environment is important. A good CV, good dress sense, speaking well, and a positive attitude should make most job applicants appear to be able to work very well in an official work environment. It is important to demonstrate an ability to work with colleagues and possibly have other skills and competencies such as a drive for results, leadership, and so many other attributes. Those are what will attract and keep their jobs. The entitled person does not care about these.
Why would you say you are not entitled? Let me look at the political environment. We’re talking about various candidates, but we’re not likely to vote for them. I even saw a video of a clergyman asking the congregation to pray that their children should become like their preferred candidates. It was a controversial prayer, but it really buttressed that in an uncanny manner the concept of entitlement. We want our children to inherit a better life, but we do not see how our actions today contribute to that better life. We feel a sense of entitlement to a good life in the future without working for it.
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Entitlement is often not something we attach to ourselves because it sounds derogatory. Someone else, who isn’t doing as well, in our opinion, should be labelled entitled. The sense of entitlement is one that generally believes you owe me because I am who I am, and we believe that mentality is only for people who did not seek formal education, or don’t have a good education, and they want you to do something for them. I’m writing this piece to argue that that’s untrue.
Entitlement forms with norms. Social norms create such a sense of entitlement. Government officials feel they should not queue up anywhere. At traffic lights, they should run red lights in large vehicles because they are in government. When they come to a restaurant, they feel that waiting to be served is demeaning. Most elders also have a sense of entitlement because, culturally, younger people are supposed to defer to elders. While we do not disagree with the need to respect grey hair in normal circumstances, it can be argued that our environment promotes entitlement. People come late for events, and they have to be ushered to the front seats because of a certain status that they do not deserve. We don’t start events on time until the government official or religious leader comes, no matter how late. That is something they call “The Alaafin’s time”, the embarrassingly infinite time when the traditional ruler appears, and all proceedings can now begin.
I recently saw a ridiculous one where a government official should not sign first on a sheet of paper when the supervisor or superior is in the room. That means, if you’re having a meeting and you’re passing the attendance register round to government officials in a room, in so far as they are boss in the room, but you did not pass the paper from a descending hierarchical order, every subordinate civil servant is going to sign the second, third of fourth row, but not the first. None of them is signing as the first attendee because the boss is entitled to be the first. This is just an attendance register, for Odoh’s sake!
Well, because I have called this entitlement mentality a syndrome, which is like a disease, I should try and proffer what looks like a solution. The way to get out of entitlement syndrome is… [clearing my throat] to just know that you are nothing beyond who you are. That is it. You are entitled to nothing. You came to this world with nothing. Nobody owes you. Work for everything you get and thank God for any windfall you get, while praying the EFCC doesn’t come for you, as nothing in this life is free. Even in a relationship, if you feel that because you have gotten married and everything was ok on your wedding day, and so you’re entitled to the good life, wake up (collect no money!) that relationship is going to die. As you stop working at it, your partner would recall with nostalgia all the things you used to do to keep the fire burning that you don’t do anymore. That is how the entitlement mentality spoils everything, from family to the whole society.
We are all entitled. I wish you stop it today but does that mean I am entitled? Like, because I’ve written this, you guys are going to just change your entitlement mentality? Nah! I know you; you won’t change; you need someone else to smack you with big stick.
Bye for now.
